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Walk through Downtown Syracuse and the realities are visible. People sleeping on benches or alleyways. Individuals struggling openly with untreated mental illness or addiction. Just this week I witnessed an overdose in Armory Square. Business owners are concerned about safety and stability. This is not simply a political issue. It is a community one. As a therapist with a practice in Downtown Syracuse, I experience this from two perspectives. A small business owner who wants

Buying a 3,000-square-foot, industrial log of plastic wrap might be one of the best purchases I’ve made. It lives on the kitchen counter now. Proudly! My wife hates it there. (let's be honest, I put it away before she can comment most days). Part of the problem might be that it doesn’t exactly match the carefully curated cottage aesthetic she’s built in our kitchen. The other possibility is that after nearly twenty years working in hospitality, seeing industrial-sized plastic

You’ve probably heard it at a barbecue during a saucy meltdown, from a nosy neighbor, or from a buddy who’s been there but isn’t quite sure how he survived: “There’s no manual for being a dad.” One minute you’re feeding a newborn with a bottle tucked under your chin, a little human who depends on you for everything. The next, you’re negotiating bedtime with a tiny, disheveled attorney who hasn’t brushed their teeth in three days. The chaos is real and it can push you to your

There are some things men have gotten very good at talking about. Work. Sports. Money. Politics. The house. The kids. The car. The project that needs to get done this weekend. But ask a man how he is actually doing? That conversation can get a lot shorter. For many men, there is still an unwritten expectation that difficult emotions should be handled privately. Keep working. Keep providing. Keep showing up. Figure it out. Don't burden anyone else with it. Most of the time, th

Have you ever known exactly what you should do... and then done the complete opposite? Maybe you told yourself you were going to stop scrolling before bed, but somehow it's midnight and you're watching videos about restoring old tractors. Or maybe you know alcohol is making your anxiety worse, but after a stressful day your brain says, "One drink will help me relax." There's a name for this uncomfortable experience: cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is the mental dis

I see it all the time on the silly Instagram reels: "Millennial dads are the most present and involved in history." "Millennial dad's are crushing it." "My baby daddy handles his business!" "Momma didn't marry no fool!" I could go on, but I think you get the idea. And while I agree and feel seen by these content creators, I believe there's more to it. I have friends, siblings, and work with men who are doing just this. They are handling their business, crushing fatherhood, ho

If you’ve ever wondered what it takes to become a licensed mental health counselor in New York State, let me save you some time. It's less of a straight road and more of a scenic hike with a weighted vest, a clipboard, and someone checking your notes for proper formatting. Let’s walk it out. The Degree: Where It All Begins (and Occasionally Unravels You a Bit) First stop: grad school. You’re looking for one that’s CACREP-accredited (Council for Accreditation of Counseling and

Golf doesn’t always look like self-care. It looks like lost balls, muttering under your breath, and pretending that this next swing is the one that fixes everything and gets you back on track, but underneath all that, it quietly checks a lot of boxes in terms of self-care. When played well, golf forces you to slow down. You can’t rush a round of golf. Even if you try, the game won’t let you. You walk, you wait, you breathe, you swing. In a world that rewards constant motion

Before we get into all of this, it’s important to me to say: if what you’re feeling is becoming too heavy to carry on your own, especially if you’re having thoughts of suicide or homicide, or feeling like you can’t keep going, please reach out for professional support . You don’t have to handle this alone. As dads, we expect to be tired. Jump-start mornings, long days, constant demands. We signed up for that from the moment (you know the moment) we became fathers. But not a

I sat in a lecture hall at SUNY Oswego my senior year for a class called CRW 595: The Meaning of Life . It was taught by my favorite undergraduate professor, Bob O’Connor. Bob was cool in a way that couldn’t be manufactured. He wore all black, circular glasses, and carried himself with a calm presence that made the room quiet when he spoke. Eventually, I later I learned he had written Buffalo Soldiers (1993), which was turned into a Hollywood film. He once joked that product

When communities feel divided, tense, or unsafe, therapy doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Clients walk into our offices carrying fear, anger, grief, confusion, and sometimes exhaustion from the constant noise of political conflict. As counselors, we’re living in the same world. We’re not immune to the headlines or the emotional impact of what’s happening around us. That’s exactly why ethical practice becomes even more important during times of civil and political unrest. The ACA C